Back to doing better

So, its been more than a few months since my last posts.  I make no apologies but I have had the urge to blog so here I am.  I've been listening to poetry this morning, so I thought I would try my hand at it.

Changes

Are things that happen over time
Often necessary, but rarely embraced
Causing the worried look to rest upon the face
If only it was a different time or place
I mean, I would if I could, and yes I understand that I should
However right now, the time just isn't good.

Sometimes I fear it, but pray that God bring me near it
I want to adjust and be different but it just might hurt
I pretend to be void of strength when i am really just lazy and don't want to do the work

It requires me to deny the things that seem sweet like pie
Makes me face the truth and escape the lie
That everything is okay and life is just fine
But really I know that is just the enemy's favorite line
Convincing me to flee from God and his perfect love for me

Change is a blessing and from it is taught a real true lesson
God came and made a change, sinners like you and me still think its strange
He gave his only son, to save us from our sin
The funny things is despite my lifestyle He would do it again
 Thank you Lord, that through your change in me, I've read the back of the book, and I know I win!

When you enter...

Psalm 100

A psalm. For giving grateful praise. ¹ Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.
 ² Worship the LORD with gladness;
   come before him with joyful songs.
³ Know that the LORD is God.
   It is he who made us, and we are his^[a];
   we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.
 ⁴ Enter his gates with thanksgiving
   and his courts with praise;
   give thanks to him and praise his name.
⁵ For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
   his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Yesterday's worship was nothing short of amazing.  It is so true that when you enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with Praise that the Lords shows up and shows out.  Just to give an indication of how the Lord worked in our worship services yesterday...We started service at 11 am...and are normally dismissed from service about 1:15, 1:30 at the latest.  Well yesterday, the Minister didn't get up to minister until 1:05ish!

The presence of God was truly in that place.  Healing, deliverance, restoration, forgiveness, was abounding yesterday.  I don't really have the words to express the atmosphere accurately. 

Worshipers came in with a mind of worship.  No one was looking to the left or the right, but had their minds on Christ and was able to enter into his presence.  It was truly a beautiful sight.  Ministers were humbling themselves and were kneeling at the alter, confessing their situations to the Lord.  This was awesome, it opened the door for others to come and come boldly to seek Christ.  It was truly a place of healing.  Bondage was set free, and yolks were broken. 

Intercessors moved through the congregation without limits, praying and laying hands on people.  Petitioning Christ on behalf of others.  You could see the burdens being lifted.

I've not experienced anything more amazing, than what I did yesterday.  I am thankful to be apart of God's Kingdom.  Apart of something so miraculous.  I am grateful for my spiritual gifts, prayer is a beautiful thing!

When your story is told, what way it say?

I have been going back and forth with myself a lot lately.  Trying to decide if what I am doing is what I should be doing.  There are many questions that remain unanswered.

As we all know, we are living in the last days and have been for a while.  This causes me to think about many things.  One of which is, when its time to tell my story, what will it say?  I find myself going out on limbs for people, who often, leave me there alone.  I find my heart supporting the dreams of those who need supporting, but aren't always willing to take the necessary leap.  More importantly I find myself saying yes, when I really want to say no, but something forces the three letters out before I can form the two.

I am in a decent position in life, but by no means where my heart desires to be.  For years I have given excuses for why I am not able to do what I should be doing.  There is a bigger one in my way currently, that I can't seem to figure out.

I am stuck in a place, trying to figure out my story.  I want to tell a story that touches hearts and sparks a desire to change for the better.  I want to tell a story that makes me look back over my life and smile because I honored my heavenly father and made change here on earth.  I want to tell a story that is uniquely mine.  It doesn't have to matter to everyone, be read by anyone, as long as it seen and needed by at least one.

So much...

So much has been going on in my life, there are times when I am not sure if I am coming or going.  As you can tell I have given up on blogging everyday.  There simply is not enough time.  I am going back to the goal of strong meaningful posts!

I have not jumped ship!

I have not forgotten my mission or my commitment.  However, those very things are keeping me from blogging. I will do a general recap of the days I have failed to blog.  Sorry

I have not jumped ship, I will get back to it!

One thing I am excited about it a new budget setup for June!  Details to come!

Day 18

Today was a good day overall.  It was not very busy, but it was a good day.  There is not a lot worth mentioning.  I wanted to blog to keep my commitment, but I do not have anything great to say.

The best thing that came from this day was my Mini Me coming up with the wording for the Teens Shirts:  Solid teachers teaching solid soldiers!  I am so excited to see where this goes!

Day 17

Today I must admit, is a reality check for me and I am not happy with the results.

I have been uneasy the last week or with the different things that have been happening, and especially with the weather.  I have even been questioning if I am doing all that God has called and asked me to do. I know that I have fallen short recently and that is a big factor.  I have done what I know I need to do for repentance, but for some reason (conviction) I feel like it hasn't been enough.  I know that one trick of the enemy is to use guilt to make us feel like we have done something to awful to be redeemed from whatever it was that you did.  I know that my heart is sincere and that my sins are forgiven.  I guess it is knowing that I sinned against my Lord, that hurts me the most.

Today was a challenge because we had sever weather that required us to evacuate our office.  I was fine at first, I grabbed my wallet, went to the hall and began to pray.  I was fine, I knew everything would be okay.  Then the hype began and instead of being the calm through the storm, I got caught in the storm.  I began to freak out too.

I talked to my BFF who confronted my fears and quickly reminded me that as a believer I have no business being scared.  That was enough to calm me down. 

I have been dealing with this situation all day.  I am going to pray my way through it.